Honeyfund, a honeymoon and cash registry site, is launching a new feature: The anniversary fund.
An Aug. 11 press release says the gifting feature is intended to let couples fund “anniversary trips, vow renewals, and romantic getaways with support from family and friends.”
Dana Hahn, a marketing professional based in California, says she and her husband, Jesse Samson, used Honeyfund to help pay for their 10-year anniversary cruise months before the anniversary fund feature became an official part of the platform.
“We managed to book all of our offshore excursions based on money we got from our friends and family,” Hahn tells TODAY.com.
Hahn lost her job shortly before her wedding, so she and her husband were never able to take a honeymoon. Instead, monetary gifts from loved ones went to expenses like rent — or, as Hahn puts it, “life.”
“Our 10 year anniversary is coming up next month, and we decided, ‘You know what? We could use some help on this,’” Hahn says. “Why not do something similar to like a GoFundMe or for something celebratory? Most of the times that you see people asking for donations to things, it’s when people are going through a really tragic time. I think our friends and family were excited to help us celebrate.”
Despite her initial excitement, Hahn was hesitant. “Is this a money grab?” she remembers thinking. She asked friends and family for a gut check, and they echoed Hahn’s feelings that “there’s no obligation” to contribute, and that she should move forward with her idea.
Hahn shared the link on social media and included it in the Paperless Post invite to a joint birthday party she planned with her husband. “The language I used on the invitation was, ‘No gift, please. But if you’d like to support our upcoming anniversary, slash honeymoon, you can do so here,’” she says.
Contributors could donate money toward excursions and on-cruise perks, like a pool casita. Some items were broken down in $25 and $50 dollar increments. Others were more expensive stand-alone gifts, like a dolphin trip.
“I wanted people to be like, ‘Oh yeah, sure, I could spend 25 bucks. Awesome. I’m buying a part of their ATV excursion,’” she says.
Hahn and Samson leave for their Mexico cruise in a week and plan to text and tag individual contributors along the way as a form of thanks.
An anniversary fund worked for Hahn, and Honeyfund confirmed to TODAY.com that other couples have used the platform for this purpose in the past.
However, etiquette expert Elaine Swann says there’s a right and wrong way to go about raising money in this manner. Here’s what she has to say about using this feature, or similar ones, for anniversary funds.
How to Set Up an Anniversary Fund, According to an Etiquette Expert
“As an etiquette professional, I absolutely embrace the new way of being able to ask for money to go toward your wedding, but there are some caveats to it,” Swann tells TODAY.com.
Monetary gifts hold symbolism for couples. When people give to couples, “it tells them that we’re making an investment in those individuals,” Swann says.
Swann says the same rules she gives couples for their wedding apply to anniversaries: It’s acceptable to ask for money, but it has to be for a cause, like a specific trip or a down payment.
“As long as the collection of money for the anniversary is tied to something that the guest feels as though they are contributing to, I believe it is acceptable,” she says.
When it comes to calling out the registry’s existence, that’s where tact is required. Swann recommends taking an approach similar to Hahn’s and including the registry link on an invitation to a party you are hosting.
“Maybe you’re planning to host an anniversary party. When people ask, ‘What can I bring you?’ Say, ‘here’s the link,’” she says. “Every time people are invited to a party, they wonder what to bring. That desire for people to give is already ingrained in them.”
Swann cautions that “any time you ask for money, it can backfire,” but that it’s worth leaning into the “big milestones” in life.
“It’s part of humanity that we celebrate these milestones,” she says. “The folks who are trying to get people involved have to really be fortified within themselves and say, ‘We’re celebrating this. Do you see the dumpster fire that’s happening in the world today? The fact that we are celebrating an anniversary is a good thing for today’s society.’”
